Some bad judgement has been exercised today.
So, today was our bus out of Saigon and up to Mui Ne. We arrived at our local at 7am for a brekkie. We found the staff there awesome, and spent countless conversations being tutored Vietnamese by the waiter. “Sin” – Please. “Mong” – one. “Hi” – two. “Ba” – three. “Bo” – four. “Sin ciao” – hello. “Come on” – thank you. Note: all of the above are misspelt. And probably misquoted.
The 200km journey north took about 5.5 hours, but fortunately we were in a ‘sleeper’ bus, where each seat reclines right back. Amazing. Well, I thought so. No one else seemed nearly as stoked as I was.
Fig 1. Anna and Tom on the Sleeper Bus
Cool journey. Slow travelling. Stopped at some place for lunch that had a few simple options. Random things from jars put on rice or bread. I saw three Vietnamese go for something that looked quite unappealing so I immediately requested ‘same same’. Turns out those Vietnamese really knew where it was at. Delicious sticky rice with 6 or so toppings, none of which I could decipher, but all worked well together. At a guess I think there were a couple of pork toppings and maybe shredded anchovy, all smothered with a couple of sauces that really gave the rice a sweet bite.
Fig 2. Same Same
The town we’re in is touristy but not too pricey. $25 USD for the 5 of us to stay each night, which is roughly half what the Lonely Planet warned. There’s a beach here that runs for miles and is lined with kite surfing shops and restaurants a plenty. Beer’s 40% more expensive here, meaning the Saigon Green’s are now setting us back about $1.20 NZD each. Outrage. Anyway. We all ended up going for a swim. Due to a bit of neglect on my part (primarily realizing I had my iPhone on me) I ended up stashing my money (&phone) pouch in my towel on the beach. The poorness of my judgement was brought home by the four locals who were blatantly staring/gaping at me while I did this, either with malicious intent, or just in shock at how blaze I could be about valuables in a high-theft area. I decided that abandoning the valuables at the hotel instead was a wise alternative and warranted a detour.
Food was eaten. None of it noteworthy. We all ended up at the hotel playing cards in Dustin’s/Craig’s/my room, first Tuppin then P&A’s. For hours.
Fig 3. Craig's Shuffling
Unfortunately (and this is where the poor judgement came in to play) Craig purchased a bottle of wine containing a scorpion hanging out of a cobra’s mouth.
Fig 4. Bad Judgement
Procrastinating, we eventually opened up the bottle. The stench was awful, the amber colour of the liquid reminding one of kidney-disease. The scent, no, the stench slowly wafted to fill the whole room with a constant reminder of distilled unhappiness. Well, eventually, in between hands, we began the dreaded countdown and all had a sip. This is undoubtedly the most awful substance of any kind, food or liquid, I have ever consumed in my life. Without a doubt. The unhappiness spreads as we each choke back the rancid flavour. “Putrid flesh” I believe was Dustin’s call, true to the t. In some heroic fashion Dustin and Tom, giving much credit to their manliness, decided to finish their shot – promptly causing a violent reaction in Dustin. It doesn’t end well. Dustin’s colouring resembles a chameleon, indecisive as to whether red or green are the way forward. Tom handles it pretty well, but still was pretty unhappy. A few hours have since passed since my sip and the taste still lingers, fortunately weaker now. All in all, a tacky, touristy experience that exists just for the sake of it. Awful, irrefutable. But at least we can say we’ve sampled that. Our only concern now is hoping we don’t end up with food-poisoning. We’re counting down, about 6 more hours until we find out.
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